A week ago... or was it two weeks? Anyway....
A week or two ago I had one of the most interesting conversations that I've had in a very long time.
One of the things I was asked was if I believed in the Law of Attraction. You know, not the thought that thinking positive thoughts brings positive things. I kinda feel like that's a lie. Sorry.
But the thought that you can virtually will the things you want into coming to you. "Ask, and you shall receive." That kind of crap.
Of course, a lot of people feel as if this is all a big joke. But those people are also disappointed that the million dollars they asked- no, I'm sorry. TOLD "God" to give them didn't magically appear. Neither did that car. Hallie Berry didn't show up at the supermarket so you could hit it off with her, either.
Those people miss the point that you'll never get anywhere trying to attract material things, but I digress... I mean, hell. You wanna try using your brain to manipulate and rearrange air molecules into a dollar bill or psychially influence a movie star to show up at your local Burger King, then go right on ahead. I'm told they film commercials in Okeydoke, Idaho all the time. lol
What's got me thinking about all of this right now is that.... well, for one, the cooling fan on my laptop died and I have nothing to do until the replacement come in. lol
Also the thought that I've always gotten what I've wanted or needed. I've just always felt like I wasn't worthy of whatever it was I got.
AND THEN I CHOOSE THE THING THAT I KNOW WILL FAIL OR BE HORRIBLE FOR ME!
Sorry, caps lock.
I've let a lot of relationships slip through my fingers like soap because I didn't feel worthy of whatever standards I imagined them having.
Either that, or they turned out to be crazier than the thought of snake nipples.
And it never fails. Dodging a long distance affair with an asian chef that I met on a online video game who loves manga, computers and has a british accent? Come on, now!
Or Melissa, who... even though I broke her heart TWICE, still treats me like her best friend and is teaching her two children to call me "Uncle Jay".
I could go on and on... but I won't. lol
I will say that I stayed in the relationship that I was in because of guilt, though. Silly, silly me.
As much as I moan about being alone (and I know I moan at an olympic level, thanks), tonight's realization makes me feel rather foolish. It's probably the closest I've come to being humbled by the powers that be in a long, long time.
Yes, I'm arrogant enough to want to apologize to some people for being so stand-offish emotionally. But they'll be okay. No need to make myself look stoopid as well as crazy.
If there's a God out there granting wishes like some damn genie, I wonder how many times (s)he has been confused and dissapointed after hearing me beg for companionship, giving it to me and me brushing it off? Or when I get pissed and curse him/her out about it? Shouldn't be such a flakey bastard anyway, God. lol
But.... I also wonder if said "God" is proud of me for noticing such a glaring and obvious a thing.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
People and Anime
Oooooookay. After my last post of emo-ey goodness and a brief hiatus from e-life, I have returned.
And to distract my self from various lovey-dovey feelings that I don't trust and am not comfortable with, not to mention the fact that I didn't buy cigarettes, I have decided to start delving into why I love one of my great loves: Anime.
Why anime, you may ask? Or you're not asking?
Well, I've always gotten crap from other people about my love for "those cartoons". As in, "You need to grow up and stop watching.... those "cartoons". Or, "You mean like Pokemon? My kids used to watch that all the time! haha!!!"
I'm kind of embarrassed for those that have that kind of mentality. But it's not their fault. Day in and day out, they've been bombarded with shows such as Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Power Rangers, etc. that don't exist as a means of mental stimulation or entertainment. These shows only exist to program the need to have a product to impressionable minds. This has gone on with anime since the '80s, back in the age of Voltron and Robotech (Macross).
The other thought of the uninitiated mind is that anime is nothing but robots, ninjas, naked girls and bloody violence that you can't get out of American cartoons. The thought of a cartoon showing such things has somewhat of a perverse attraction. But once again, this is the Euro-American mentality at work.
What a lot of people DON'T see is that the best of Anime tells stories that are so rich, mature and complex that they are by nature designed to go over the average watcher's head. And no, beating a villain (who will later be a good guy), losing to a new villain, training for 200 episodes and beating said villain with your new technique does not equate to great storytelling. Okay, fine! I admit that I used to enjoy this brand of Anime (DBZ, Bleach, fucking Naruto), but there was copious amounts of marijuana involved. And no, it DOESN'T matter how flashy the fights or new techniques are. These stories are all the same, no matter how many times someone is rescued, how many times someone is injured, or HOW many times someone "dies".
The greatest of Anime will more than likely not even be seen by the casual watcher. If it IS seen by the casual watcher, it's meaning will be GROSSLY misinterpreted.
How can one watch Elfen Lied and not see that it's an incredibly deep and involved study on the total array of negative human emotions, what shapes them, and their effects on others?
How can one grow up using the internet and not relate to Serial Experiments Lain?
How can someone claim Death Note is boring? It's one of the greatest studies of power, responsibility and morality I've ever seen or read! Not to mention one will be hard pressed to find a greater story of cat and mouse.
Do people have to have tits and ass bounced in their faces, blood and guts and fights to be entertained?
Is it so distracting that people miss the point so easily?
It's like people don't read the stories, they only see the pictures. When did thinking become the most horrible thing in the world?
Gods, I need nicotone.
And to distract my self from various lovey-dovey feelings that I don't trust and am not comfortable with, not to mention the fact that I didn't buy cigarettes, I have decided to start delving into why I love one of my great loves: Anime.
Why anime, you may ask? Or you're not asking?
Well, I've always gotten crap from other people about my love for "those cartoons". As in, "You need to grow up and stop watching.... those "cartoons". Or, "You mean like Pokemon? My kids used to watch that all the time! haha!!!"
I'm kind of embarrassed for those that have that kind of mentality. But it's not their fault. Day in and day out, they've been bombarded with shows such as Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Power Rangers, etc. that don't exist as a means of mental stimulation or entertainment. These shows only exist to program the need to have a product to impressionable minds. This has gone on with anime since the '80s, back in the age of Voltron and Robotech (Macross).
The other thought of the uninitiated mind is that anime is nothing but robots, ninjas, naked girls and bloody violence that you can't get out of American cartoons. The thought of a cartoon showing such things has somewhat of a perverse attraction. But once again, this is the Euro-American mentality at work.
What a lot of people DON'T see is that the best of Anime tells stories that are so rich, mature and complex that they are by nature designed to go over the average watcher's head. And no, beating a villain (who will later be a good guy), losing to a new villain, training for 200 episodes and beating said villain with your new technique does not equate to great storytelling. Okay, fine! I admit that I used to enjoy this brand of Anime (DBZ, Bleach, fucking Naruto), but there was copious amounts of marijuana involved. And no, it DOESN'T matter how flashy the fights or new techniques are. These stories are all the same, no matter how many times someone is rescued, how many times someone is injured, or HOW many times someone "dies".
The greatest of Anime will more than likely not even be seen by the casual watcher. If it IS seen by the casual watcher, it's meaning will be GROSSLY misinterpreted.
How can one watch Elfen Lied and not see that it's an incredibly deep and involved study on the total array of negative human emotions, what shapes them, and their effects on others?
How can one grow up using the internet and not relate to Serial Experiments Lain?
How can someone claim Death Note is boring? It's one of the greatest studies of power, responsibility and morality I've ever seen or read! Not to mention one will be hard pressed to find a greater story of cat and mouse.
Do people have to have tits and ass bounced in their faces, blood and guts and fights to be entertained?
Is it so distracting that people miss the point so easily?
It's like people don't read the stories, they only see the pictures. When did thinking become the most horrible thing in the world?
Gods, I need nicotone.
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